Post by Lady Desari on Jan 6, 2004 8:12:31 GMT -5
This was sent to me...Enjoy the laughs...
1. There are two seasons; Day and Night. It is night 347 days out of the RhyDin year (This I have calculated)
2. Taverns are composed of only shadowed corners. No walls...just many a'shadowed corner.
3. Even the most ferocious and deadly female warriors seem to have D cups, on an average..yet they never interfere with their fighting prowess. Simply amazing.
4. Men: An entire nation of enigmatic and rock-built males.
5. Women: Loose fitting garments? What means this..?
6. Men: Hair is either black or silver. In-betweens are simply not "in" this season.
7. Vampires: All right..going a little crazy with the Vampires. If there was ever a Tavern without at least One, we would all start to worry.
8. Cloaks, Shrouds, Trenchcoats, Capes and anything that is black and/or leather will help you blend in.
9. Gold: A very soft metal, yes? No! Seems to be many a golden sword and armor around here that makes people invincible. Do not be fooled.
10. You do not need a marriage or divorce license here. Marriages generally do not last more than a few weeks, and usually the separation (if one spouse is not killed) is just a mere parting of ways, or the parties not speaking to one another, or the other gets caught "cheating".
11. The locals either love pain or cry incessantly. Mention it first before you go stomping on toes.
12. We are all very serious people, to be taken seriously.
13. You need no food to sustain you. . .only liquor, blood/and or sex.
14. ::Sneezes:: ((Uh, hey should I roll for that?)) Be very careful what you do, some of your actions may not be "accepted" and You may find your reality does not exist for the other person sitting at the bar. Do not ponder it, it will never make sense.
15. Levitation: possible when necessary. Just close your eyes..
16. We all know where the bar is, the fireplace, the chairs, and all the shadowed corners...but where are the restrooms?! Just go outside, there are usually No restrooms.
17. Raistlin Clone: What is wrong, Oh great Lord of Demons, Zorg?
DemonZorg:: I do not know...this man, appears strange. He is not moving or breathing.. All I did was drive my very dark and evil sword through his head. And he is not moving.
RaistlinClone22: ::Puzzled look:: You think perhaps this is that Death concept? That legend of mortality written in the ancient books..?
Dying is a strange concept, and most will not hesitate to throw around your life.
18. Just because it is small, some seem to think this automatically makes it "cute". Fluttery sparkly fuzzy burbling things..or children of 4-13 years who have speech impediments, as well as a baby animal of any sort..is also deemed "cute". Smile and nod and accept it; arguing is rather like running full tilt into a brick wall..
19. Humans are endangered. If you a) live forever b) have the ability to die and come back to life..you are Not human.
20. Whatever you need, it can be pulled out of thin air.
21. Money? Certainly. Just go out to the Coinage tree and pick some ::Shrug:: Though you will find most everything is free.
22. Doors are a mere formality. Shadows, pools of blood, mist, fire, light, dust and sparkles are more fun for transportation.
23. You are an orphan. Your parents were either slain, committed suicide..or better yet, you did them in yourself after all that trauma.
24. All mind readers I tell you...you have plans for world domination? Well...that oh-so-innocent looking baby dragon drooling at your feet knows them too. Mind readers!
25. Eye contact gives one the access to read your mind, see your past and pain and
hurt. . .
26. Many young women give birth in the middle of a Tavern or some other public place. . .the hospitals are always "mysteriously closed" when labor begins, or there simply isn't the time. Because you see... labor only lasts about five minutes around here.
27. Whenever you want to meet that doe-eyed, golden-haired, sexy vixen virgin princess of your dreams...or that Knight in shining armor with the perfect teeth..or that really sweet guy with all the guns and the leather trenchcoat..Just threaten suicide! Though..the marriage will not last more than three days.
28. Only one sip of any liquor will get you drunk.
29. We are ALL young.
30. Unless you are an Assassin, Mage or healer, employment does not exist in
RhyDin.
31. Do not ask for service at a bar. Tenders are on the endangered species list as well.
32. All those in the Rhy'din sparring ring MUST be/speak Japanese.
33. Learn about the "Mun Bubbles", they are rather like fixtures in most Taverns, especially the Medieval Tavern. Do not fight them..they are too plentiful..rather just try to be One with the bubble..view it as a piece of furniture and you'll survive.
34. Keep your hair long, spiked, or in a ponytail. You will find it will never get tangled, greasy, or matted in most cases, but there are few few barbers and hair stylists around.
35. There is no facial hair unless it is a goatee.
36. No matter where in Rhy'din you are, you can always find a fireplace.
37. Be careful when ordering wine. It is made with a wide variety of things; including many bodily fluids, but never grapes.
38. Every building has rafters. Bad on heating, but nice for all those of us who can jump twenty feet with no problem..
39. Vampires have always "just gone a day without feeding".
40. There is no such thing as a tavern with only happy people.
41. Tenders may never stay for more than two minutes.
42. Each tavern has at least two people who claim to own it, minus the Medieval and the Vampire Taverns, which are also always open and PACKED.
43. There is no concept of "morning" in Rhy'din.
44. No one ever drinks beer. . .only the best liquor there is to offer, or Ale, "wyne" or hard liquor.
45. Taverns always have the drink you want, even if the tender(ess) has NO clue what that drink is.
46. Demons cause typos, punts, and other terrible events.
47. All young children have speech impediments (i.e.: "huggles" & "wuns") as was mentioned. Shock therapy and firm beatings have been applied, and failed to correct the problem They grow out of it in a week or two when they are full grown and looking to get married and start a family of their own.
48. Most if not all females in RhyDin are bisexual or lesbian.
49. All morphing abilities are under control. . .no accidental morphings.
50. Platonic relationships are discouraged. You are there for a one night of sex, marriage, or a broken heart. No male-female male-male female-female Pure friendships here. They all want something from you!
1. There are two seasons; Day and Night. It is night 347 days out of the RhyDin year (This I have calculated)
2. Taverns are composed of only shadowed corners. No walls...just many a'shadowed corner.
3. Even the most ferocious and deadly female warriors seem to have D cups, on an average..yet they never interfere with their fighting prowess. Simply amazing.
4. Men: An entire nation of enigmatic and rock-built males.
5. Women: Loose fitting garments? What means this..?
6. Men: Hair is either black or silver. In-betweens are simply not "in" this season.
7. Vampires: All right..going a little crazy with the Vampires. If there was ever a Tavern without at least One, we would all start to worry.
8. Cloaks, Shrouds, Trenchcoats, Capes and anything that is black and/or leather will help you blend in.
9. Gold: A very soft metal, yes? No! Seems to be many a golden sword and armor around here that makes people invincible. Do not be fooled.
10. You do not need a marriage or divorce license here. Marriages generally do not last more than a few weeks, and usually the separation (if one spouse is not killed) is just a mere parting of ways, or the parties not speaking to one another, or the other gets caught "cheating".
11. The locals either love pain or cry incessantly. Mention it first before you go stomping on toes.
12. We are all very serious people, to be taken seriously.
13. You need no food to sustain you. . .only liquor, blood/and or sex.
14. ::Sneezes:: ((Uh, hey should I roll for that?)) Be very careful what you do, some of your actions may not be "accepted" and You may find your reality does not exist for the other person sitting at the bar. Do not ponder it, it will never make sense.
15. Levitation: possible when necessary. Just close your eyes..
16. We all know where the bar is, the fireplace, the chairs, and all the shadowed corners...but where are the restrooms?! Just go outside, there are usually No restrooms.
17. Raistlin Clone: What is wrong, Oh great Lord of Demons, Zorg?
DemonZorg:: I do not know...this man, appears strange. He is not moving or breathing.. All I did was drive my very dark and evil sword through his head. And he is not moving.
RaistlinClone22: ::Puzzled look:: You think perhaps this is that Death concept? That legend of mortality written in the ancient books..?
Dying is a strange concept, and most will not hesitate to throw around your life.
18. Just because it is small, some seem to think this automatically makes it "cute". Fluttery sparkly fuzzy burbling things..or children of 4-13 years who have speech impediments, as well as a baby animal of any sort..is also deemed "cute". Smile and nod and accept it; arguing is rather like running full tilt into a brick wall..
19. Humans are endangered. If you a) live forever b) have the ability to die and come back to life..you are Not human.
20. Whatever you need, it can be pulled out of thin air.
21. Money? Certainly. Just go out to the Coinage tree and pick some ::Shrug:: Though you will find most everything is free.
22. Doors are a mere formality. Shadows, pools of blood, mist, fire, light, dust and sparkles are more fun for transportation.
23. You are an orphan. Your parents were either slain, committed suicide..or better yet, you did them in yourself after all that trauma.
24. All mind readers I tell you...you have plans for world domination? Well...that oh-so-innocent looking baby dragon drooling at your feet knows them too. Mind readers!
25. Eye contact gives one the access to read your mind, see your past and pain and
hurt. . .
26. Many young women give birth in the middle of a Tavern or some other public place. . .the hospitals are always "mysteriously closed" when labor begins, or there simply isn't the time. Because you see... labor only lasts about five minutes around here.
27. Whenever you want to meet that doe-eyed, golden-haired, sexy vixen virgin princess of your dreams...or that Knight in shining armor with the perfect teeth..or that really sweet guy with all the guns and the leather trenchcoat..Just threaten suicide! Though..the marriage will not last more than three days.
28. Only one sip of any liquor will get you drunk.
29. We are ALL young.
30. Unless you are an Assassin, Mage or healer, employment does not exist in
RhyDin.
31. Do not ask for service at a bar. Tenders are on the endangered species list as well.
32. All those in the Rhy'din sparring ring MUST be/speak Japanese.
33. Learn about the "Mun Bubbles", they are rather like fixtures in most Taverns, especially the Medieval Tavern. Do not fight them..they are too plentiful..rather just try to be One with the bubble..view it as a piece of furniture and you'll survive.
34. Keep your hair long, spiked, or in a ponytail. You will find it will never get tangled, greasy, or matted in most cases, but there are few few barbers and hair stylists around.
35. There is no facial hair unless it is a goatee.
36. No matter where in Rhy'din you are, you can always find a fireplace.
37. Be careful when ordering wine. It is made with a wide variety of things; including many bodily fluids, but never grapes.
38. Every building has rafters. Bad on heating, but nice for all those of us who can jump twenty feet with no problem..
39. Vampires have always "just gone a day without feeding".
40. There is no such thing as a tavern with only happy people.
41. Tenders may never stay for more than two minutes.
42. Each tavern has at least two people who claim to own it, minus the Medieval and the Vampire Taverns, which are also always open and PACKED.
43. There is no concept of "morning" in Rhy'din.
44. No one ever drinks beer. . .only the best liquor there is to offer, or Ale, "wyne" or hard liquor.
45. Taverns always have the drink you want, even if the tender(ess) has NO clue what that drink is.
46. Demons cause typos, punts, and other terrible events.
47. All young children have speech impediments (i.e.: "huggles" & "wuns") as was mentioned. Shock therapy and firm beatings have been applied, and failed to correct the problem They grow out of it in a week or two when they are full grown and looking to get married and start a family of their own.
48. Most if not all females in RhyDin are bisexual or lesbian.
49. All morphing abilities are under control. . .no accidental morphings.
50. Platonic relationships are discouraged. You are there for a one night of sex, marriage, or a broken heart. No male-female male-male female-female Pure friendships here. They all want something from you!
