Post by Lady Desari on Feb 14, 2009 11:25:30 GMT -5
(Original Playout Date and location for this log is 2/09/09 at RavensWood)
LadyDesari of RW: She was in the solar going over the books. Spring was coming and things needed to be done. Sheep needed shearing and fields planted. Hunting would be done this next fornight to replenish the meat used over winter. The stweards from Artane and Tara had sent the books and everything was going well. She had gone through all the items listed for all three estates and furniture was now being shipped to GoldenMyst. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she grabbed her mug and finished off the klah.
Celtic Sanctum: After having the conversation with Tempest, she decides that a visit to Ravenswood is in order. However, the ride would have been long and shifting too much upset her stomach while she was pregnant. Ugh. So just inside the doorway of Desari's solar, appeared a cloud of Amythest Myst swirling up from the floor. When it disapated, there stood the stunning red-head garbbed in a simple dark green sleeveless dress that hung to the floor with a slit up the left leg and her black leather boots. Seeing her sister again, those emerald hues flash as she walks toward Desari's desk. Pressing her palms on the edge of the desk, she leans in a little. "Seems we need to talk."
LadyDesari of RW: She looked up at her sister. What a sight it must have been. Looking down at the top of her desk, she let out a soft sigh. Leaning back in her chair, she folded her hands in her lap. The soft leather of her black pants felt cool to the touch. Her black button down shirt looked old. Looking up the dark circles under her eyes gave a haunting look. She didn't dare stand up. Her clothes hung loose on her frame. All the weight she lost over the last year gave her body a thin look. "You look well Lina." Her voice somber and reserved.
Celtic Sanctum: "Thank you, but you do not." Blunt and to the point. She'd never seen her sister like this. It worried her. Shifting, she perches herself on the edge of the desk looking down at her sister. "Desari, why are the children in Ireland instead of here with you?" She frowns a little the more she looks Desari over. She could have rattled off a list of what she thought was wrong with her, but that wasn't what Des needed right now. Tucking some hair behind her ear, she waits for an explaination.
LadyDesari of RW: She crossed her legs and ran her fingers through her hair. "Because that is where I sent them." Her voice held no emotion when she spoke of her children. "They are fine." Not that she really knew. Glancing to the left of her desk were the unread letters. She cleared her throat. "So Nicho being back is the talk of the realms." Avoiding the other topic of conversation.
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh no you don't. I am not here to talk about Nicho or GoldenMyst. I have been hearing things and you are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you." She glances around the room noticing that it wasn't as neat as it used to be. "Have you been like this since Vincent died?" Looking back to her again, her expression now showing the worry that sat in the pit of her stomach.
LadyDesari of RW: "Nothing is going on Lina. I am running my estates." Hearing her husbands name, she looked away and composed her self before giving away any hint of the grief that swamped her. "Been like what? I am fine. Really." Settling a serne look about her features, she looked back to her sister. The glamour wavered just a little.
Celtic Sanctum: She rolls her eyes. It had been sometime since Desari had seen her so it was assumed that she didn't know just how powerful she was now. Slipping in under the preverbial radar, she taps into Desari's feelings. Not that she had to dig very deep. Intruding on her sister's private thoughts and feelings? You bet your ass. "You are such a liar. Did you have a momentary lapse of memory as to who you are talking to?" She wasn't leaving until she got what she came for. And she certainly wasn't leaving until she knew her sister would be alright. Stubborn ass wench.
LadyDesari of RW: Waves of pain, anger and despair swirled around within her. She threw up a wall witin her mind, not really knowing how long she could kep it up. She had done nothing but what was needed to run the estates. She shook her head and chewed the inside of her cheek. "No I did not forget who I was talking to. There is nothing to talk about Lina. He is dead. Plain and simple."
Celtic Sanctum: Feeling the slamming of Desari's wall, she was visibly startled, then narrows her eyes at her. "Don't make me come in there and tear it down. You know I can." A warning of sorts. This was ridiculous. This was NOT her sister at all. She responds to her sister's words. "Aye, he's gone. But letting the grief overtake you the way you are letting it, Desari, you can't do this. You can't just sit here and wallow in all of this, it's not healthy."
LadyDesari of RW: She stood up and slammed her hands on the top of her desk. Anger burning at the edges. "Don't you dare tell me what do to do. I seem to remember someone died over her broken heart when he left her." She took one arm ans swept everything from the top of the desk and watched it scatter to the floor. "You see all this? It means nothing. Not one god damn thing anymore. They couldn't even find his body." She lowered her head. The anger gone. That was how it was. One minute burning emotion. The next nothing. She gained her composure and sat back down.
Celtic Sanctum: When Desari slammed the desk, she jumped off with the agility of a cat. "And I seem to remember who was there to bring me back from it!" Snapping back. When her sister swept the desk clean, she takes a step back, letting her vent. "Are you done?"
LadyDesari of RW: "Yes. I am done. And yes I did bring you back. You're stronger then I. Always have been. There I said it. I am weak. Kavan was right. All those years he said I wasn't a strong enough woman for Vincent. He was right. By the way there should be at least five wagons full of furniture for GoldenMyst." She stood up and began picking up the papers that were scattered on the floor.
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh shut the hell up. I am so tired of hearing that shit." She moves deftly to Desari's side and grabs her shoulders. Big mistake. The pain and anger and grief that Desari was carrying within her was nothing short of the energy in a lightning bolt and it actually pushes Lina back a few steps. Catching her breath, she looks at her. It was the same pain that she felt so many times in her life. The difference between her and Desari, though, was that Gelina let her: fury out while Desari kept it all bottled up. Bad, baaaad idea. Not good for a person of power to try to bury things on their own. It never works and ends up in disaster. "Desari... you can't keep doing this. I know it hurts. I know how you feel. You know that! Let me help you. Let me take some of the pain away."
LadyDesari of RW: "Do not tell me what to do. I don't need your help. I am fine. I am doing what I need to do to ensure the future for my children."
Celtic Sanctum: Now she was angry. She hates being lied to. "Thank you for thinking that I am fucking stupid. Fine, then, stay here and hide and wallow in your own self pity. Pining for a man that is gone. Living alone without your children that used to be the lights of your life. I suppose you are right. They are better off in Ireland because here, you would be of no use to them." With her anger surfacing, she looks her sister right in the eyes, her own flashing not the normal bright emerald, but a solid onyx, holding there for a moment before she pushes it back down to keep it under control, before eyes fade back to normal. "You could have come to me, Desari. You knew where to find me. So don't you dare come back at me and tell me I didn't try to help you. That I didn't care. Because you know damn well that it's bullshit." Backing away a few steps before turning and heading for the door. "You know where to find me if you change your mind."
LadyDesari of RW: "I NEVER SAID YOU WERE STUPID!!!!" Now she was was angry again. "I AM THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING STUPID!! FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO COULD CARE LESS IF HE LEFT ME!!!" She took a deep breath, her voice a whisper. "He left me." She staggered a little at the onslaught of her sister's words. "Don't worry Gelina. I would never accuse you of not caring. I am the one who doesn't care anymore. Not any one else. And you are right. The children are fine right were they are." She bent down and grabbed the books that were still on the floor. What the hell did they want from her? She honestly did know how to pick up the pieces again. She was so lost, she did not even know if she could find her way back. She had done this so many times with him. Always he came back. Except this time. He had been dead a year now and she was still the shell she was when she found out he was dead. She didn't want anyone's pity. She hated pity above anything else. Asking for help was in her eyes a weakness, best to keep to her self. She had tried to be strong for him. It lasted about two months. She had not even cried. She couldn't. She wouldn't dare. That was the last thing her children needed to see. Even after she had sent them away, she hadn't cried. Placing the books on the corner of the desk, she took a deep breath and sat back down. "I don't want to fight with you Lina."
Celtic Sanctum: All she could do was laugh. It was a dark laugh, her anger rising up once more. "Oh you are going to try explain to me that you are the only one that ever fell in love with a man that didn't give a shit?!! Do you know how many times that bastard left me?! Please. Not to mention the countless others that have tossed me aside!" Turning to face her fully. "I warned you of that son of bitch's reputation. I knew he was going to hurt you. But you were happy, so I left it alone. That was my mistake. I should have done something. You are my sister. The only one I have. If you won't let me in, then I see nothing but sadness in your future. I locked myself up. I shut everyone out. I've died more deaths than I want to count. But you can't give up, Desari. As much as either of us can love a man, they are not worth giving up on life. On yourself. On your children." She takes a deep breath, settling her anger once more. "I don't want to fight with you either, but you are making that quite difficult at the moment. Your stubborness is worse than mine ever was. And if you think I am here to pity you, you are sadly mistaken. I hate it as much as you do. For once in your God damn life, Desari, swallow that fucking pride of yours and let me in." Then she thought of the one thing that just might shake her enough to let her in. "I love you..."
LadyDesari of RW: "I can't do that to you. You know I won't do that to you. And the only one who made the mistake was me. You know there was nothing that would have stopped me from marrying him after he asked. And to me he was worth it Lina. He was everything to me. And somewhere in my heart I would love to believe that I meant something to him but I am not stupid. I know he loved war more then anything in this world. Including me and the children. Where does love go when it dies Lina? And you know me. Nothing more annoying then a stubborn Irish woman. I love you too Lina." She was so on the verge of caving in right now. She knew deep down inside that her sister was the only one who understood.
Celtic Sanctum: She moves over to a table and leans back on it, folding her arms. "If I knew where love went when it dies, I would tell you." She shakes her head as she looks down at the floor for a moment. "Tell me, Desari, why do you think I am your sister? Why do you think the Gods gave us the same the blood? I'll tell you. To bind us. Because they knew that during our life time, when it came down to the wire, you and I were all we would have left when it was all said and done." Looks back up at her again. Her voice softening. "We balance each other. You know that. I fly off the handle, you pull me back. When you stumble, I catch you before you fall. So don't tell me that you can't do this to me. I have married many. And I thought each one was worth it too. Regardless of what anyone said. So you know damn well that I am the one person in this world that understands better than anyone else. You were never, nor will you ever be
a burden to me. So stop thinking that way, it annoys the piss out of me."
LadyDesari of RW: "What are sister's for if not to annoy the hell out of each other? I know why the Gods put us together Lina. I knew that when I was six. I never wanted to be a burden Lina. I wanted to be the strong one. I wanted to be the one who didn't need anyone. Stubborn, independent and on her own. You were always taking care of me when we were kids and this time I wanted to be the strong one. Didn't work out that way." She put her head in her hands and sighed. "It hurts so much Lina. He lied to me. He told me he loved me." There was a catch in her voice.
Celtic Sanctum: There it was! The show of emotion she was looking for. She pushes off the table and moves to her sister, gathering her into her arms, smoothing her long hair. "He didn't lie to you. He loved you. He just loved fighting more." Kisses the side of her head. "You did nothing wrong. You were strong and independent. He took that for granted, along with the fact that you would always be there for him no matter what he did or said. That makes him an evil fuck in my book. Hence why I never spoke to him again." She sighs, realizing that she let herself get away again, giving her sister a squeeze. "The only thing you can do now is move forward. Show that strength and independence that you have within you. I know it's there. It's not going to be easy. It never is. But it is possible." She loosens her hold on Des for a moment, long enough for her look at her. "I'm still here, aren't I?" Smiling at her.
LadyDesari of RW: She wrapped her arms around her sister and squeezed. "I don't know how any more Lina. I don't know if I have it in me. I have been doing this for so long. And I know you are still here. You always have been." Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke. A single tear fell to her cheek and that was all it took for her to loose it. She broke down and sobbed. Gut wrenching sobs that tore at her soul. She missed him so much sometimes it felt as if he was still here with her. There was a point in time when she actually talked to him, thinking he heard her. Sometimes, when she slept, she would wake up in the middle of the night thinking she had heard his foot steps on the stone stairs. That was when she stopped sleeping up stairs. Most nights, if she slept, it was in the solar. She clung to her sister like she was a life raft and Desari was drowning. Drowning in greif and pain and anger. She was so mad at him, she wanted to shake him til his teeth rattled but instead she stood there and sobbed.
Celtic Sanctum: Tears weld in Gelina's eyes hearing her sister sob so uncontrolably. She knew exactly how it felt. Oh the many times she wished she had had someone to hold her when she was broken. She tightens her arms around her sister's quivering form and simply holds her, giving her way to let it all out. Lina knew it was what Desari needed. She'd been holding it in way too long. "Shhhhh....it will be alright." Whispering to her. "In time it will all pass...if you let it." Seemed to her that Desari needed to learn how to let go so that it would pass. The longer you hang on, the worse it gets. And the end result? Sobbing in your sister's arms in the middle of a messy solar that you have been living like a hermit in. Seeing her sister this far gone was breaking her heart.
LadyDesari of RW: After what seemed like hours she tried to get a hold of her self. The sobs turned into hiccups as she pulled away and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. Lina would be able to see just how much weight she had lost if she hadn't already felt it. Desari was the kind of woman who never showed her weakness. People usually took advantage of it. She looked around the solar and cringed. Clothes were every where. Gods she felt like she was six all over again. Where did she go from here? She looked at Lina. Her eyes actually held a gilmer of hope.
Celtic Sanctum: She lets her go, not wanting to smother her, she knew Lina was here and wasn't going anywhere. Seeing the look in her sister's eyes, she smiles at her, knowing what it meant. "One day at a time, Desari. One day at a time. And the first thing you are going to do is brush your teeth because your breath stinks." That smile turning into a grin followed by a chuckle.
LadyDesari of RW: She laughed. Actually laughed. "I guess a bath would help to. And maybe some clean clothes." She thought for a moment. Guess that meant she would have to open the rooms up stairs first. She could deal with that later. She walked to the table in the corner and poured her self a drink. "Want one?"
Celtic Sanctum: Laughing. "No, I'm fine." When was the last time you heard Gelina Grey turn down a drink?
LadyDesari of RW: She arched a brow. "You not drink? But it is whiskey from Tara. You never turn that down." She turned with glass in hand and took a sip. "Tell me about GoldenMyst. What help does Nicho need?"
Celtic Sanctum: She shrugs. "I have no idea, really. I have only been up there once since we brought it back. I have been a little preoccupied at Larshia."
LadyDesari of RW: "How is everything at Larshia? And you know I heard a nasty little rumor about you being dead? Tell me what happened with Magus?"
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh, yes, that. Well, I found out that he was building something quite evil and I there was no way I could be a part of it. So, knowing he would never let me go willingly, I killed a guard, more like and imp, laid him out on the floor in the tower at Infernus, then transformed him to look like me and that I had taken my own life where Magus would find the body. Then I went back home to Larshia. And Syn." Pause, eyeing her sister. Her sister had to have known that she had been with Syn for quite sometime before leaving him to go to Magus. "He was dying when I returned. Some sort of virus. So I took care of it. He's fine now." Moving over to a chair, tossing off the clothes that were on it and sits down.
LadyDesari of RW: Her eyes grew wide. "Guess all that glamour we practiced paid off. And did you just say Syn? Wait a minute, are you two together? What about Cae?" She moved back to the desk and sat down.
Celtic Sanctum: She nods. "Aye, I am back with Syn. As for Caelum, we are now....divorced." Damn that still tugged at her heart a little. "He signed the document the other night."
LadyDesari of RW: "He actually signed the papers? I thought you two would never get divorced. And as long as your happy with Syn then that is all that matters. Not like you're going to get married again. " She took another sip of her drink and smiled at her.
Celtic Sanctum: She sighs as she rakes her left hand through her long hair then holds her hand up in the air. "Well....?" Raising a brow at her sister.
LadyDesari of RW: "Oh my god that thing is huge. When? Where? Why? Oh Lina are you sure about this? I don't want you hurt again. You have been through so much."
Celtic Sanctum: "I know, I know. About a month ago at Larshia when I returned from Infernus. I almost lost him, Desari. When I had come back, he was ready to toss me out on my ass. He let me save his life then he was going to leave." Another sigh. "I had hurt him so many times, Desari. He was never the one hurting me. I kept him at bay for so long always thinking he would be there. And when the moment came that he might not really be there anymore, it hit me like a stone wall. I was terrified." Her sister would know that it wasn't like her to admit something like that. "We fought for days. Back and forth. It was horrible. But I realized that I couldn't let him go. Not then, not ever." Then she smiles a little. "I was the one that actually asked him." Laughs a little. "I was so afraid that I would do something stupid agian, I asked him to marry me." Laying her head over the back of the chair laughing.
LadyDesari of RW: She laughed so hard she damn near pissed her self. "You scared? I don't believe it. Not for a minute. But tell me the making up must have been wonderful. And you do something stupid? Never. Not in a million." She laughed out loud again. Standing, she went to the table, grabbed the bottle and another glass. Sitting back at her desk, she poured whiskey into both glasses and pushed one towards her sister. "Congratulations."
Celtic Sanctum: She stops laughing and looks right at her. "Scared to death that I had pushed him aside for the last time." She looks at the glass and shakes her head. "Thank you. I am truly happy this time. And it's the last time."
LadyDesari of RW: "Well I hope and pray for the best for you. Now why don't you tell me what else is going on? Not like you to pass up whiskey. And if he hurts you can I break his face?"
Celtic Sanctum: Now she laughs. "Sure, but don't hold your breath. He will never hurt me." Ignoring the first part of what she said. "The bond we had all these years has been strengthened beyond anything I could have ever imagined." It was true. It was the strongest bond she's ever had with anyone in her life. And she was soooo alright with that.
LadyDesari of RW: "Lina...Don't ignore the question." She raised a brow.
Celtic Sanctum: "Ignore what question?" It was then that she let the block down she had up this whole time with her sister and it would hit Desari like a slap in the face.
LadyDesari of RW: "OH MY GOD YOUR PREGNANT!!!" She squealed like a piglet.
Celtic Sanctum: Nods. Wincing at the squeal.
LadyDesari of RW: "Oh wow. um are you happy?"
Celtic Sanctum: Finally she breaks a small smile. "Aye. More than ever." It had been almost ten years since the last time she was pregnant. It was with Magus' child. And as harsh as it sounds, to this day, she's glad she lost it.
LadyDesari of RW: "Well so I guess we have to plan a wedding and a baby shower. Tis been a while since you were with child.
Celtic Sanctum: Smiling at how this all seemed to perk her sister up. "The wedding will be small and at Larshia. See, Magus still thinks I am dead. If he finds out I am alive, it could destroy the realms themselves." Leaning forward in her
chair. "Think about it Desari. He finds out I am alive AND with child? So no, nothing big, nothing out in the open. That's why I had you blocked." Remembering, she throws the block back up again. "I have to keep myself concealed from him at all times. I don't have to worry when I am at home with Syn. His power is like an extra shield for me. It's out here that I am vulnerable."
LadyDesari of RW: "Well that can be a problem. Magus wouldn't think to attack you would he? That would be insane. And you are safe here." ANything to take her mind off Vincent for a while was something positive so she jumped it. "We can do small."
Celtic Sanctum: She pushes to her feet. "I need to go. And you have some work to do." Smiles. "I am never far away, Desari. Wear your necklace I gave you. It will work in place of our link since I can't be open right now. I will come whenever you call me. I promise." She moves over to her sister, leaning down to hug her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Nodding to her words. "I know I am. I just have to be careful. Don't worry about me, just focus on you." Moving to the center of the room, she turns and looks at her one more time before she vanishes within that Amythest Myst.
LadyDesari of RW: She was in the solar going over the books. Spring was coming and things needed to be done. Sheep needed shearing and fields planted. Hunting would be done this next fornight to replenish the meat used over winter. The stweards from Artane and Tara had sent the books and everything was going well. She had gone through all the items listed for all three estates and furniture was now being shipped to GoldenMyst. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she grabbed her mug and finished off the klah.
Celtic Sanctum: After having the conversation with Tempest, she decides that a visit to Ravenswood is in order. However, the ride would have been long and shifting too much upset her stomach while she was pregnant. Ugh. So just inside the doorway of Desari's solar, appeared a cloud of Amythest Myst swirling up from the floor. When it disapated, there stood the stunning red-head garbbed in a simple dark green sleeveless dress that hung to the floor with a slit up the left leg and her black leather boots. Seeing her sister again, those emerald hues flash as she walks toward Desari's desk. Pressing her palms on the edge of the desk, she leans in a little. "Seems we need to talk."
LadyDesari of RW: She looked up at her sister. What a sight it must have been. Looking down at the top of her desk, she let out a soft sigh. Leaning back in her chair, she folded her hands in her lap. The soft leather of her black pants felt cool to the touch. Her black button down shirt looked old. Looking up the dark circles under her eyes gave a haunting look. She didn't dare stand up. Her clothes hung loose on her frame. All the weight she lost over the last year gave her body a thin look. "You look well Lina." Her voice somber and reserved.
Celtic Sanctum: "Thank you, but you do not." Blunt and to the point. She'd never seen her sister like this. It worried her. Shifting, she perches herself on the edge of the desk looking down at her sister. "Desari, why are the children in Ireland instead of here with you?" She frowns a little the more she looks Desari over. She could have rattled off a list of what she thought was wrong with her, but that wasn't what Des needed right now. Tucking some hair behind her ear, she waits for an explaination.
LadyDesari of RW: She crossed her legs and ran her fingers through her hair. "Because that is where I sent them." Her voice held no emotion when she spoke of her children. "They are fine." Not that she really knew. Glancing to the left of her desk were the unread letters. She cleared her throat. "So Nicho being back is the talk of the realms." Avoiding the other topic of conversation.
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh no you don't. I am not here to talk about Nicho or GoldenMyst. I have been hearing things and you are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you." She glances around the room noticing that it wasn't as neat as it used to be. "Have you been like this since Vincent died?" Looking back to her again, her expression now showing the worry that sat in the pit of her stomach.
LadyDesari of RW: "Nothing is going on Lina. I am running my estates." Hearing her husbands name, she looked away and composed her self before giving away any hint of the grief that swamped her. "Been like what? I am fine. Really." Settling a serne look about her features, she looked back to her sister. The glamour wavered just a little.
Celtic Sanctum: She rolls her eyes. It had been sometime since Desari had seen her so it was assumed that she didn't know just how powerful she was now. Slipping in under the preverbial radar, she taps into Desari's feelings. Not that she had to dig very deep. Intruding on her sister's private thoughts and feelings? You bet your ass. "You are such a liar. Did you have a momentary lapse of memory as to who you are talking to?" She wasn't leaving until she got what she came for. And she certainly wasn't leaving until she knew her sister would be alright. Stubborn ass wench.
LadyDesari of RW: Waves of pain, anger and despair swirled around within her. She threw up a wall witin her mind, not really knowing how long she could kep it up. She had done nothing but what was needed to run the estates. She shook her head and chewed the inside of her cheek. "No I did not forget who I was talking to. There is nothing to talk about Lina. He is dead. Plain and simple."
Celtic Sanctum: Feeling the slamming of Desari's wall, she was visibly startled, then narrows her eyes at her. "Don't make me come in there and tear it down. You know I can." A warning of sorts. This was ridiculous. This was NOT her sister at all. She responds to her sister's words. "Aye, he's gone. But letting the grief overtake you the way you are letting it, Desari, you can't do this. You can't just sit here and wallow in all of this, it's not healthy."
LadyDesari of RW: She stood up and slammed her hands on the top of her desk. Anger burning at the edges. "Don't you dare tell me what do to do. I seem to remember someone died over her broken heart when he left her." She took one arm ans swept everything from the top of the desk and watched it scatter to the floor. "You see all this? It means nothing. Not one god damn thing anymore. They couldn't even find his body." She lowered her head. The anger gone. That was how it was. One minute burning emotion. The next nothing. She gained her composure and sat back down.
Celtic Sanctum: When Desari slammed the desk, she jumped off with the agility of a cat. "And I seem to remember who was there to bring me back from it!" Snapping back. When her sister swept the desk clean, she takes a step back, letting her vent. "Are you done?"
LadyDesari of RW: "Yes. I am done. And yes I did bring you back. You're stronger then I. Always have been. There I said it. I am weak. Kavan was right. All those years he said I wasn't a strong enough woman for Vincent. He was right. By the way there should be at least five wagons full of furniture for GoldenMyst." She stood up and began picking up the papers that were scattered on the floor.
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh shut the hell up. I am so tired of hearing that shit." She moves deftly to Desari's side and grabs her shoulders. Big mistake. The pain and anger and grief that Desari was carrying within her was nothing short of the energy in a lightning bolt and it actually pushes Lina back a few steps. Catching her breath, she looks at her. It was the same pain that she felt so many times in her life. The difference between her and Desari, though, was that Gelina let her: fury out while Desari kept it all bottled up. Bad, baaaad idea. Not good for a person of power to try to bury things on their own. It never works and ends up in disaster. "Desari... you can't keep doing this. I know it hurts. I know how you feel. You know that! Let me help you. Let me take some of the pain away."
LadyDesari of RW: "Do not tell me what to do. I don't need your help. I am fine. I am doing what I need to do to ensure the future for my children."
Celtic Sanctum: Now she was angry. She hates being lied to. "Thank you for thinking that I am fucking stupid. Fine, then, stay here and hide and wallow in your own self pity. Pining for a man that is gone. Living alone without your children that used to be the lights of your life. I suppose you are right. They are better off in Ireland because here, you would be of no use to them." With her anger surfacing, she looks her sister right in the eyes, her own flashing not the normal bright emerald, but a solid onyx, holding there for a moment before she pushes it back down to keep it under control, before eyes fade back to normal. "You could have come to me, Desari. You knew where to find me. So don't you dare come back at me and tell me I didn't try to help you. That I didn't care. Because you know damn well that it's bullshit." Backing away a few steps before turning and heading for the door. "You know where to find me if you change your mind."
LadyDesari of RW: "I NEVER SAID YOU WERE STUPID!!!!" Now she was was angry again. "I AM THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING STUPID!! FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO COULD CARE LESS IF HE LEFT ME!!!" She took a deep breath, her voice a whisper. "He left me." She staggered a little at the onslaught of her sister's words. "Don't worry Gelina. I would never accuse you of not caring. I am the one who doesn't care anymore. Not any one else. And you are right. The children are fine right were they are." She bent down and grabbed the books that were still on the floor. What the hell did they want from her? She honestly did know how to pick up the pieces again. She was so lost, she did not even know if she could find her way back. She had done this so many times with him. Always he came back. Except this time. He had been dead a year now and she was still the shell she was when she found out he was dead. She didn't want anyone's pity. She hated pity above anything else. Asking for help was in her eyes a weakness, best to keep to her self. She had tried to be strong for him. It lasted about two months. She had not even cried. She couldn't. She wouldn't dare. That was the last thing her children needed to see. Even after she had sent them away, she hadn't cried. Placing the books on the corner of the desk, she took a deep breath and sat back down. "I don't want to fight with you Lina."
Celtic Sanctum: All she could do was laugh. It was a dark laugh, her anger rising up once more. "Oh you are going to try explain to me that you are the only one that ever fell in love with a man that didn't give a shit?!! Do you know how many times that bastard left me?! Please. Not to mention the countless others that have tossed me aside!" Turning to face her fully. "I warned you of that son of bitch's reputation. I knew he was going to hurt you. But you were happy, so I left it alone. That was my mistake. I should have done something. You are my sister. The only one I have. If you won't let me in, then I see nothing but sadness in your future. I locked myself up. I shut everyone out. I've died more deaths than I want to count. But you can't give up, Desari. As much as either of us can love a man, they are not worth giving up on life. On yourself. On your children." She takes a deep breath, settling her anger once more. "I don't want to fight with you either, but you are making that quite difficult at the moment. Your stubborness is worse than mine ever was. And if you think I am here to pity you, you are sadly mistaken. I hate it as much as you do. For once in your God damn life, Desari, swallow that fucking pride of yours and let me in." Then she thought of the one thing that just might shake her enough to let her in. "I love you..."
LadyDesari of RW: "I can't do that to you. You know I won't do that to you. And the only one who made the mistake was me. You know there was nothing that would have stopped me from marrying him after he asked. And to me he was worth it Lina. He was everything to me. And somewhere in my heart I would love to believe that I meant something to him but I am not stupid. I know he loved war more then anything in this world. Including me and the children. Where does love go when it dies Lina? And you know me. Nothing more annoying then a stubborn Irish woman. I love you too Lina." She was so on the verge of caving in right now. She knew deep down inside that her sister was the only one who understood.
Celtic Sanctum: She moves over to a table and leans back on it, folding her arms. "If I knew where love went when it dies, I would tell you." She shakes her head as she looks down at the floor for a moment. "Tell me, Desari, why do you think I am your sister? Why do you think the Gods gave us the same the blood? I'll tell you. To bind us. Because they knew that during our life time, when it came down to the wire, you and I were all we would have left when it was all said and done." Looks back up at her again. Her voice softening. "We balance each other. You know that. I fly off the handle, you pull me back. When you stumble, I catch you before you fall. So don't tell me that you can't do this to me. I have married many. And I thought each one was worth it too. Regardless of what anyone said. So you know damn well that I am the one person in this world that understands better than anyone else. You were never, nor will you ever be
a burden to me. So stop thinking that way, it annoys the piss out of me."
LadyDesari of RW: "What are sister's for if not to annoy the hell out of each other? I know why the Gods put us together Lina. I knew that when I was six. I never wanted to be a burden Lina. I wanted to be the strong one. I wanted to be the one who didn't need anyone. Stubborn, independent and on her own. You were always taking care of me when we were kids and this time I wanted to be the strong one. Didn't work out that way." She put her head in her hands and sighed. "It hurts so much Lina. He lied to me. He told me he loved me." There was a catch in her voice.
Celtic Sanctum: There it was! The show of emotion she was looking for. She pushes off the table and moves to her sister, gathering her into her arms, smoothing her long hair. "He didn't lie to you. He loved you. He just loved fighting more." Kisses the side of her head. "You did nothing wrong. You were strong and independent. He took that for granted, along with the fact that you would always be there for him no matter what he did or said. That makes him an evil fuck in my book. Hence why I never spoke to him again." She sighs, realizing that she let herself get away again, giving her sister a squeeze. "The only thing you can do now is move forward. Show that strength and independence that you have within you. I know it's there. It's not going to be easy. It never is. But it is possible." She loosens her hold on Des for a moment, long enough for her look at her. "I'm still here, aren't I?" Smiling at her.
LadyDesari of RW: She wrapped her arms around her sister and squeezed. "I don't know how any more Lina. I don't know if I have it in me. I have been doing this for so long. And I know you are still here. You always have been." Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke. A single tear fell to her cheek and that was all it took for her to loose it. She broke down and sobbed. Gut wrenching sobs that tore at her soul. She missed him so much sometimes it felt as if he was still here with her. There was a point in time when she actually talked to him, thinking he heard her. Sometimes, when she slept, she would wake up in the middle of the night thinking she had heard his foot steps on the stone stairs. That was when she stopped sleeping up stairs. Most nights, if she slept, it was in the solar. She clung to her sister like she was a life raft and Desari was drowning. Drowning in greif and pain and anger. She was so mad at him, she wanted to shake him til his teeth rattled but instead she stood there and sobbed.
Celtic Sanctum: Tears weld in Gelina's eyes hearing her sister sob so uncontrolably. She knew exactly how it felt. Oh the many times she wished she had had someone to hold her when she was broken. She tightens her arms around her sister's quivering form and simply holds her, giving her way to let it all out. Lina knew it was what Desari needed. She'd been holding it in way too long. "Shhhhh....it will be alright." Whispering to her. "In time it will all pass...if you let it." Seemed to her that Desari needed to learn how to let go so that it would pass. The longer you hang on, the worse it gets. And the end result? Sobbing in your sister's arms in the middle of a messy solar that you have been living like a hermit in. Seeing her sister this far gone was breaking her heart.
LadyDesari of RW: After what seemed like hours she tried to get a hold of her self. The sobs turned into hiccups as she pulled away and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. Lina would be able to see just how much weight she had lost if she hadn't already felt it. Desari was the kind of woman who never showed her weakness. People usually took advantage of it. She looked around the solar and cringed. Clothes were every where. Gods she felt like she was six all over again. Where did she go from here? She looked at Lina. Her eyes actually held a gilmer of hope.
Celtic Sanctum: She lets her go, not wanting to smother her, she knew Lina was here and wasn't going anywhere. Seeing the look in her sister's eyes, she smiles at her, knowing what it meant. "One day at a time, Desari. One day at a time. And the first thing you are going to do is brush your teeth because your breath stinks." That smile turning into a grin followed by a chuckle.
LadyDesari of RW: She laughed. Actually laughed. "I guess a bath would help to. And maybe some clean clothes." She thought for a moment. Guess that meant she would have to open the rooms up stairs first. She could deal with that later. She walked to the table in the corner and poured her self a drink. "Want one?"
Celtic Sanctum: Laughing. "No, I'm fine." When was the last time you heard Gelina Grey turn down a drink?
LadyDesari of RW: She arched a brow. "You not drink? But it is whiskey from Tara. You never turn that down." She turned with glass in hand and took a sip. "Tell me about GoldenMyst. What help does Nicho need?"
Celtic Sanctum: She shrugs. "I have no idea, really. I have only been up there once since we brought it back. I have been a little preoccupied at Larshia."
LadyDesari of RW: "How is everything at Larshia? And you know I heard a nasty little rumor about you being dead? Tell me what happened with Magus?"
Celtic Sanctum: "Oh, yes, that. Well, I found out that he was building something quite evil and I there was no way I could be a part of it. So, knowing he would never let me go willingly, I killed a guard, more like and imp, laid him out on the floor in the tower at Infernus, then transformed him to look like me and that I had taken my own life where Magus would find the body. Then I went back home to Larshia. And Syn." Pause, eyeing her sister. Her sister had to have known that she had been with Syn for quite sometime before leaving him to go to Magus. "He was dying when I returned. Some sort of virus. So I took care of it. He's fine now." Moving over to a chair, tossing off the clothes that were on it and sits down.
LadyDesari of RW: Her eyes grew wide. "Guess all that glamour we practiced paid off. And did you just say Syn? Wait a minute, are you two together? What about Cae?" She moved back to the desk and sat down.
Celtic Sanctum: She nods. "Aye, I am back with Syn. As for Caelum, we are now....divorced." Damn that still tugged at her heart a little. "He signed the document the other night."
LadyDesari of RW: "He actually signed the papers? I thought you two would never get divorced. And as long as your happy with Syn then that is all that matters. Not like you're going to get married again. " She took another sip of her drink and smiled at her.
Celtic Sanctum: She sighs as she rakes her left hand through her long hair then holds her hand up in the air. "Well....?" Raising a brow at her sister.
LadyDesari of RW: "Oh my god that thing is huge. When? Where? Why? Oh Lina are you sure about this? I don't want you hurt again. You have been through so much."
Celtic Sanctum: "I know, I know. About a month ago at Larshia when I returned from Infernus. I almost lost him, Desari. When I had come back, he was ready to toss me out on my ass. He let me save his life then he was going to leave." Another sigh. "I had hurt him so many times, Desari. He was never the one hurting me. I kept him at bay for so long always thinking he would be there. And when the moment came that he might not really be there anymore, it hit me like a stone wall. I was terrified." Her sister would know that it wasn't like her to admit something like that. "We fought for days. Back and forth. It was horrible. But I realized that I couldn't let him go. Not then, not ever." Then she smiles a little. "I was the one that actually asked him." Laughs a little. "I was so afraid that I would do something stupid agian, I asked him to marry me." Laying her head over the back of the chair laughing.
LadyDesari of RW: She laughed so hard she damn near pissed her self. "You scared? I don't believe it. Not for a minute. But tell me the making up must have been wonderful. And you do something stupid? Never. Not in a million." She laughed out loud again. Standing, she went to the table, grabbed the bottle and another glass. Sitting back at her desk, she poured whiskey into both glasses and pushed one towards her sister. "Congratulations."
Celtic Sanctum: She stops laughing and looks right at her. "Scared to death that I had pushed him aside for the last time." She looks at the glass and shakes her head. "Thank you. I am truly happy this time. And it's the last time."
LadyDesari of RW: "Well I hope and pray for the best for you. Now why don't you tell me what else is going on? Not like you to pass up whiskey. And if he hurts you can I break his face?"
Celtic Sanctum: Now she laughs. "Sure, but don't hold your breath. He will never hurt me." Ignoring the first part of what she said. "The bond we had all these years has been strengthened beyond anything I could have ever imagined." It was true. It was the strongest bond she's ever had with anyone in her life. And she was soooo alright with that.
LadyDesari of RW: "Lina...Don't ignore the question." She raised a brow.
Celtic Sanctum: "Ignore what question?" It was then that she let the block down she had up this whole time with her sister and it would hit Desari like a slap in the face.
LadyDesari of RW: "OH MY GOD YOUR PREGNANT!!!" She squealed like a piglet.
Celtic Sanctum: Nods. Wincing at the squeal.
LadyDesari of RW: "Oh wow. um are you happy?"
Celtic Sanctum: Finally she breaks a small smile. "Aye. More than ever." It had been almost ten years since the last time she was pregnant. It was with Magus' child. And as harsh as it sounds, to this day, she's glad she lost it.
LadyDesari of RW: "Well so I guess we have to plan a wedding and a baby shower. Tis been a while since you were with child.
Celtic Sanctum: Smiling at how this all seemed to perk her sister up. "The wedding will be small and at Larshia. See, Magus still thinks I am dead. If he finds out I am alive, it could destroy the realms themselves." Leaning forward in her
chair. "Think about it Desari. He finds out I am alive AND with child? So no, nothing big, nothing out in the open. That's why I had you blocked." Remembering, she throws the block back up again. "I have to keep myself concealed from him at all times. I don't have to worry when I am at home with Syn. His power is like an extra shield for me. It's out here that I am vulnerable."
LadyDesari of RW: "Well that can be a problem. Magus wouldn't think to attack you would he? That would be insane. And you are safe here." ANything to take her mind off Vincent for a while was something positive so she jumped it. "We can do small."
Celtic Sanctum: She pushes to her feet. "I need to go. And you have some work to do." Smiles. "I am never far away, Desari. Wear your necklace I gave you. It will work in place of our link since I can't be open right now. I will come whenever you call me. I promise." She moves over to her sister, leaning down to hug her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Nodding to her words. "I know I am. I just have to be careful. Don't worry about me, just focus on you." Moving to the center of the room, she turns and looks at her one more time before she vanishes within that Amythest Myst.
