It's Time...

[LadyGelinaGrey]

It has come to my attention that there are people out there that still find it necessary to be selfish and to make me feel like shit for what I did.

Let me say this one more time.

It was MY choice. Gelina belonged to ME. I had my reasons for wanting to get out from underneath her and I did so.

So for those of you out there that don't get it? That's not my fricken problem. I will not be berated or made to feel guilty for what I have done. I put myself and Gelina on the line many many times for the this god forsaken kingdom, and I got shit in return. And now, not only am I getting shit for killing her, I am getting shit for not telling certain people about it ahead of time. I can't keep track of everyone online. I tried to tell who I could.

I don't owe you people anything. Not an explaination or favors or anything. I caught hell when Gelina was alive, and I am catching even more hell now that she is dead. What the hell do you people want from me? You didn't like her alive, and now I am shit because I killed her? What the hell is that? You can't have it both ways.

I am being made to regret what I did and I don't like it. Not one bit. I can't seem to please anyone anymore. Not that I should even be trying. In fact. I am going to stop. So don't ask me for any favors, don't ask me why, don't ask me what my problem is. Just leave me alone.

This kingdom has ruined something that I loved dearly. Roleplay. It was one of the things in my life that made me happy other than the friends and family I have. It was something in my life that solely belonged to me. Not my kids, not my husband, me. I cared alot about this place. I put my heart into it IC and OOC. And this is what I get in return? Well screw that! So don't IM me and tell me that you are proud of me, or that you think I made the right decision. And don't IM me and call me Lina. Lina is DEAD! My name is Shari. I am a real person damnit. Gelina was FICTION! Yes she was a big part of me, but good god people step back and take a look at yourselves. It's a damn game. And I for one refuse to let this stupid game ruin my life. I have even tried to make a new character. It's almost impossible after having the reputation of Gelina. It's like a curse that I can't break. But I am going to try.

I have also found out that some people are leaving or killing off characters because of Gelina's death. Now here's where I am pissed. Listen up. Don't lay the responsibility of that on me. I don't, can't and won't control what you do with your characters. Not my problem.

For those of you that have distanced yourselves from me. Fine. So be it. I don't care anymore. If you don't have the guts to come to me and say that you are hurt or mad, then screw you. The selfishness is a never ending circle around here and I am backing out of it and breaking the chain. I have had enough. I don't care if you are mad, and I don't care if you like me or not. I made it very apparent about who I was and what I was about from the very beginning. You don't like it, there's the door, dont' let it hit in the ass on the way out.

All of this has truly opened my eyes to the people that I thought were friends and to what this kingdom is really made of. In fact...I will even get personal with this...It's gone that far.

To the Seer. Go to hell. If you don't have the guts to stand up and say who you are instead of this mysterious bullshit, then go crawl back into the hole you came from. You know nothing of the lives of those that have left. So shut the hell up. I don't need your support.

To Tona mun. Your selfishness is overwhelming. Thank you for putting me in tears. It was a joy to be made to feel like shit for my actions.

To Nicho mun. The distance you have put between us since Lina's death has hurt me serverly. The fact that you nor anyone else felt it necessary to play out any kind of burial for her was like being stabbed in the heart. I know that I said that I didn't expect anyting, but come on, she was SiC for christ's sake. You told me once that I was one of the few people that you let yourself get close too online. I was honored that you crossed that line with me. But now, simply because I let Gelina go, you choose to let it affect our friendship ooc. Thank you. It's greatly appreciated. I thought you were different. If I am way off base with this one then you better let me know, because not getting any huggles for two days tells me something is up.

And to anyone else that has even had a selfish thought, go away. I don't need you. I now know who my real friends are.

If I had known two and a half years ago, that a fictional kingdom would have such a negative impact on my life, I would have never stepped foot into that castle. I found something that I was good at and I created one of the greatest characters in roleplay. And before you roll your eyes at me, shut up. Gelina Grey was one of the best. I see that now. My humble days are over.

She was known in other realms that I didn't even know exsisted. I would get applications from guilds and forums that made GM look like cheesecake. But did I go? No. I stayed with GM. Men fell over her. Women looked up to her. That was the positive side. The negative, was that people were becoming jealous of her. Jealous of her status, her beauty, her charm, her way with people, her power. Well guess what? That made me feel like shit. I never created her to be what she was before she died. I just wanted a charrie that could shift to a dragon. It was a cool thought. If she was lifted up onto a pedestal then it was you people who did it. Not me. I never wanted her there.

Either you loved her or you hated her. Either way, she's gone. So go back to your dramatic rp and the gossiping and the backstabbing. I don't want it. My new character will be simple and fun.

With what is going on in my IRL right now, I will have time to build the new one that I created. If you figure out that it's me. Fine. If you don't, that's fine too. I don't care anymore. But don't you dare treat my charrie any different because "Lina mun" is playing it. Judge me on my roleplay, not who I am. I'm good at it. And those of you that don't think so can kiss my ass.

[Kolava]

To the Seer, I have very little to say. My policy on anonymous critics is already well known, and the points of my previous post still stand. Perhaps our beliefs overlap in places, and perhaps your intentions, as stated, are benevolent, but that does not change the fact that all you have seemed able to inspire so far has been anger, much of which is directed at you. If I were you, I would take this as an obvious sign that some of my methods are flawed. If you truly wish to make a difference in the community and "make us think," next time try offering suggestions and citing actual, relevant, credible examples instead of vague observations which I can only assume were meant to cut cogently to the core of the matter and fill us all with guilt. I'm sure you'll find that if you suggest what leaders should have done, you'll find that you won't have to rely so much on negative labeling and guilt-baiting.

If you are able to think of actual examples or come up with any suggestions of your own, then there is no need to apologize. If not...well, at least no one knows who you are, so, fortunately, your reputation isn't on the line.

[The Seer]

I really do not care about what you may think of my reputation. My examples are listed here in these pages.

Shari, I am sorry that my posts hurt you. That is entirely as far as my apology will go.

Judge me, make me the bad guy, whatever Kolava. Its easier to do than to deal with the problems and issues here. Its people like you that make it hard to post what you really think under a "real" name. The judgement that falls down is amazing.

I have watched and seen over and over again the bullshit this place reeks of. People love, sacrifice for it only to have it bite them in the ass in the long run. If you really want to know whats gone wrong. Reread this thread. Listen to CARE, SHARI, PAUL, ROWAN, ANTHONY...they are the real people behind some of the best roleplay this place has ever seen. Ask them whats screwed up and actually LISTEN!!!

[Kolava]

Guest-The said:

Judge me, make me the bad guy, whatever Kolava. Its easier to do than to deal with the problems and issues here. Its people like you that make it hard to post what you really think under a "real" name. The judgement that falls down is amazing.

I could not agree more that attacking each other is easier than dealing with the actual issues. Calling the entire kingdom selfish, for example, is so much easier than actually looking for a solution. Accusing people of only pursuing their own storylines is much easier than coming up with a Kingdom-wide storyline to encourage more activity. Doing all of this anonymously while condemning anyone who disagrees is much easier than standing up with your reputation at stake and defending what you believe in. All of these things, which are so easy, they are what you do. And the difficult things? Kolava, the selfish one, is trying his best.

I know your wit is sharp, and negatively labeling your opponents is probably your most powerful (or, possibly, only) technique, but please try to be reasonable for a moment. Not only did I not judge you, as you have accused, but I actually tried to help you. Why did I do this? Because, despite what you have implied, I do believe in progress and freedom of expression; also, I love these boards and know that they can be a powerful tool of communication when used properly.

I'm not exactly sure (you still haven't given any examples) what led you to the conclusion that "people like me" make these boards an unproductive place, but last time I checked, a mun who keeps their temper, remains unbiased, and offers advice to every poster so that the discussion can continue in a productive fashion is not only not making the place a difficult place to post, but is actually helping. --or maybe I'm just crazy.

I do not condemn people who disagree with me. Everyone is entitled to their own view, and is also entitled, to an extent, to share that view with others; in fact, that is what these boards are for. I encourage everyone with something to say to say it, even if I don't agree with it, because that's how progress in a community happens. The problem only comes when people begin replacing fact with emotion, and courtesy with wit. I try, whenever I can, to help such cases; unfortunately, when passionate individuals attack all opposing points of view unconditionally with sweeping generalizations and unfair labels, there is little I can do that won't be shot down.

[Lord Caelum Lupus]

Kolava-mun dont be so anal about anonymous posts, maybe you dont condemn but you certainly have something negative to say about nearly every anonymous comment regardless of it's validity or not.
I guess it's just your personality to be so picky on things, I can see it in many ways such as the detail in your stories, your comments about poetry, etc.
You are a great RPer, and probably a good person too... I just dont think we'd make very good neighbors though....definitely the Odd Couple!

[Scared to log in]

First,

I'm sorry that I'm using a guest name, but I'm going to go by way of The Seer and just post anonymously seeing as how things are heating up around here. I know, even before posting this that this will be considered an attack, and in that respect..I guess it is. I'm just stating and expressing my own views, and maybe that'll help out a few of you I don't know, but I'm going to try.

This is to Nicho-mun, I just wanted to touch on something that Lina-mun had brought to be a valid point.

The fact that you nor anyone else felt it necessary to play out any kind of burial for her was like being stabbed in the heart. I know that I said that I didn't expect anyting, but come on, she was SiC for christ's sake.

I was given a few logs concerning Magus arriving to GoldenMyst, and the aftermath of it and so on..and I saw what it is Lina-mun meant for myself.

The second-in-command had just died, and folks I kid you not, but she was brought to the castle by Magus, and then placed on a couch by a member of GM. A couch..a dead body on a couch that had aged rapidly so we're not talking about Lina in her twenties here. There was talk from Kolava about either cremating her body (considering her fire dragon background), or a burial. I can see that, they were discussing it politely, however...having seen a loved one die I can assure you that you would want to place the body in a secluded area for a while and have someone or a few someones try and make the body look a little better for when the public views her. That's common courtesy is it not?

The second-in-command of your kingdom just died, and I did see most of those in the room express their sadness in some way, however there were two others in that room that either were completely indifferent..or were aloof and distant. One of these people, I will say, was not a member I don't think, but the other one was. I don't need to say names as the log does it for me, and if you want a copy of the log just ask one of those who were there that night. Anyway, my meaning is that shouldn't the SiC, Nicho's right-hand, deserve just a bit of preferential treatment when she passes on? I think a couch is...undeserving and an insult..but that's just me.

Lastly, I would directly quote from the log (just too lazy), however there's a statement (a thought technically considering it was not said out loud but in between colons dictating an action) in KoGM castle made by Nicho that made me think. Nicho's thought was that he was not going to allow Lina's death, while tragic, to overshadow Kia's demise, and he had to appear strong and could not let his personal feelings be expressed and yadda yadda..I'm paraphrasing but you get the point of it. That's a bit cold is it not? I mean, according to this, a King must appear strong and be emotionless even in the face of the death of his second-in-command...can't you just feel that chilly breeze when you think about it? You know, I can see maintaining your character's normal behavior of course, but even those characters you rarely if ever saw cry that night shed a tear or two.

To sum this all up, if you were Lina-mun, and I'm using that term considering I don't know you very well Shari and I've no right to call you that yet..but if you were her..don't you think you'd probably be as defensive as she is? I've no right to judge anyone, as throughout this post I don't think I have, and I have not called anyone any names..I'm just adhering to the facts that were presented before me in logs. To end, yes, I am a member of GM as well.

[LadyGelinaGrey]

Gelina's body was laid to rest last night and she has passed on to the next world. The log will be posted in the appropriate place later today.

Now let's move on. Not just me, but everyone.

It's Time....

[Nym mun]

...and laid to rest gorgeously. There comes a time a mun moves on and this one was done right, in my eyes. Her mun laid a well developed character down with respect and love. Holding on past a chars time would have been unbenefitial to the character. All things have to start and end someplace. Roleplay also does not stop or end on aol. I have only just recently started on aol boards and I still slightly miss my days in Pern rps. But when a mun grows they sometimes need newer challenges. It is hard after the beginning, the golden years where rp was a beautiful, amazing thing. Sometimes it isn't so much the rp that changes as the player though. Players are the ones who change, who end up looking behind the curtain and realizing it isn't magic after all.

Though I didn't think the couch was disrespectful. Sil was on a couch for a time to give people time to mourn her. I think it was more the result of the bickering that made that difficult with Gelina and it isn't fair to her. Luckily her mun and those dear to her did end up taking care of it and I can think of nothing more beautiful than what I saw.

And Kolava... let him have his pet peeves. He is a creative and sweet mun who is not so cold as I sometimes think people consider him. Intelligent, yes, but not cold. And he is a magnificent rper, as Kolava does not necessarily reflect on who his role player is. Pieces, perhaps, but he isn't simply a carbon copy and I think he means well. If he went along with everything everyone said it would appear wishy washy. He wants people to stand by their convictions... I fail to see that as anything other than an honorable mun.

I apologize for posting, not being a particularly quiet mun but trying to be respectful enough to stay out of what does not involve me.

[kiakblackthorne]

I just wanted to say... Sil's body is still in the throne room... disturbingly enough.

-Care

[LadyGelinaGrey]

Kia...that will change.


Nym. Don't ever apologize for saying what you feel. And thank you.