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Post by jaysoncesta on May 14, 2004 21:39:28 GMT -5
:: as he hugged her he could feel her emotion changing a little but went back and he knew why. he looked into her eyes and in a faint whisper he said:: someone has hurt you before i can tell ::he smiled weakly never feeling this way towards anyone not even his best friends this beautiful creature before him was something much, much more than anyone he ever spoken to. he was changing he could feel his coldness go away slowly when he was near her indeed she wa special in someway::
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Post by LadyGelinaGrey on May 15, 2004 10:02:34 GMT -5
::hearing him say that somehow made it more real than she wanted. she had buried it long ago and never wanted to deal with the pain again. why was this happening? had she just swept it under the rug and ignored it so she didn't have to deal with the pain? she nodded to him in agreement:: <w>...Aye... ::then she looked down again not wanting to meet his eyes, for if she did so, he would see everything within her, and that was just too big of a chance to take. yes she felt like she knew him all her life, but the reality of it was she just met him. she moves to take a step back, then hesitates and just stands still in his arms. she didn't really want to pull out of them, she just wasn't sure what the hell she was supposed to do now. having someone find what she had been hiding for so long was somewhat...disturbing::
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Post by jaysoncesta on May 15, 2004 18:13:09 GMT -5
::he felt her becoming uncomforatble he then released her from his warm embrace. his violet hues was still on her even though she wasnt looking at him. he leaned forward and whispered into her ear with a soft sweet angelic voice:: i guess you are not ready to trust me with your past ::he smiled in understanding:: i understand in time our trust will be a lot stronger i can feel it... ::he pulled back to see her reaction to his statement even though he was always cold and never talked to strangers he felt reborn more human like even though he wasnt close to being human at all. and it was all because of her that made him look differently at life all in that one instant where his dying heart came back to him he would then begin to have feelings he couldnt describe but maybe lina knew these feelings, of course she knew them maybe she was feeling the same feelings as he was right now, he would never know::
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Post by LadyGelinaGrey on May 15, 2004 18:48:41 GMT -5
::as he pulled from her, a small sound of disappointment escaped her. she suddenly felt vulnerable as he let go. hearing him say that he understood, she looked up at him, seeing in his eyes that he truly did understand. but if he understood, that meant that he saw a glimpse of the pain that she didn't want anyone to know of. how did he get in? how could she have let her guard down? annoyed that she would allow herself to be that weak she looked away from him again. he was beginning to read her more easily now and to her, that could be dangerous, for if she were to relive that pain again, or even try to deal with it after all these years, there was no telling what state of mind she would end up in. the only way she knew how to keep her sanity all these years was to simply ignore the very pain that would destroy her::
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Post by jaysoncesta on May 15, 2004 19:00:33 GMT -5
::he could feel that she wasnt happy that he would read her he stopped but it was like trying to put a good book down he really couldnt stop but with his own will power he stopped feeling he would awaken some horrible pain that was never meant to be seen but he didnt want her to hide it if she did it would grow and grow and one day it would explode in disaster he was worried about he knew this could happen because he did explode he ended up hurting a friend in the end he could have killed his friend but he somehow stopped himself he turned his back to her and looked over his shoulder:: if you ignore it. it will come back stronger and stronger and one day you wont be able hide it anymore ::his violet hues looked caring but he could only help her if she told him he wasnt going to read her mind to find the truth it defeated the purpose of beating the pain::
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Post by LadyGelinaGrey on May 15, 2004 19:07:03 GMT -5
::as he spoke, she blinked and actually stumbled a bit from the shock of his words. he was right, it had been building for a long time. but what else could she do?:: If I try to deal with what I have buried Jayson, it will be the end of me. Is that what you want? Keeping it all hidden has kept me my sanity... ::glancing down at the floor again then back up, not happy he turned his back on her:: If I let you in...I don't know what will happen...I'm afraid... ::then she simply stopped talking::
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Post by jaysoncesta on May 15, 2004 21:03:58 GMT -5
i am sorry ::he turned to look at her:: i didnt know it was that bad i dont want you to lose you sanity but i just dont want to know that you have this pain buried inside of you like a bomb ready to go off at anymoment if anything i want to defuse it before anything more worse than losing your santiy happeneds ::he hesitated to say these wored even though he lony meet her maybe it would help:: i only do this because i care about you i just dont want you to be this way i done it before thats why im on your case about your pain...i am sorry maybe it is too much for me...
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Post by LadyGelinaGrey on May 15, 2004 22:51:44 GMT -5
::cants her head:: You've done nothing wrong...don't apologize... ::tears began welding in her eyes:: It's not your fault, you didn't cause the pain that I carry. I'm not used to people wanting to help me like this. ::a tear slips down her cheek:: I know I'm a walking time bomb, but over the years I've had no choice. Being this way is all I know...
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Post by jaysoncesta on May 15, 2004 23:08:00 GMT -5
tell me this who gave you this pain ::he came close to her placing both hand into hers hoping he could learn more if he asked he did care most men in her past probably didnt but he did he wanted to be the first he felt this feeling of happiness inside of him he didnt know where it came from or what caused it he was just happy that he could talk to someone about his past and maybe with time she could tell him hers but he wasnt going to rush things his violet hues glowed slightly as he looked into her eyes but he wasnt trying to read her at all::
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Post by LadyGelinaGrey on May 16, 2004 0:45:26 GMT -5
:: she hesitated for a moment then looked up at him with trusting eyes, hoping that she wasn't making a mistake:: His name was Ryu... ::just saying his name visibly wracked her body as she stood before Jayson:: I loved him more than anyone could possibly comprehend... :: she choked up at that point and couldn't speak, her hands reaching out, clutching at his shirt, the pain and the fear rising up from it's forced slumber as she inhales sharply to quickly shove it back down. but it was too late. she had opened the door to something that could possibly change her life forever:: I...I.... :: pauses for a second:: I...died for him once... ::her voice barely a whisper as those words found their way out::
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